Parents and their children share unique bonds full of love and genuine care. Sometimes, the concerns for the child’s well-being can intensify, leading to anxiety when separated even for a short time. This anxiety may stem from various thoughts, such as a fear of their child getting hurt or facing other unfavorable situations. While it’s normal to worry to some extent, if you experience excessive separation anxiety, it is important to seek help. Read on to know what signs need extra attention and how to deal with anxiety.
Separation Anxiety in Parents
In the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), parental separation anxiety is categorized as a type of separation anxiety disorder. The prevalence of separation anxiety disorder in adults in the United States is estimated to be between 0.9% and 1.9%.
Parental separation anxiety refers to the emotional distress and challenges experienced by parents when they have to be away from their children. This phenomenon is most commonly observed in parents of infants, extending into the later stages of a child’s independence and potentially hindering developmental needs. As children become more socially inclined during adolescence, parents with anxiety may impose restrictions, leading to over-protectiveness. If you notice such signs and want to strengthen your bond with a child without excessive control and worries, consider consulting an anxiety specialist online.
Paternal and Maternal Separation Anxiety
Some studies focusing on whether mothers or fathers experience separation anxiety to a higher extent indicate that both parents experience it at similar levels. However, other studies suggest unique findings related to the correlation between separation anxiety in moms and the child’s gender. The results show that mothers of sons may experience higher stress levels compared to mothers of daughters. In addition, mothers may experience postpartum separation anxiety, which makes prevalence higher.
Signs and Symptoms of Separation Anxiety
Parents may start to exhibit symptoms of separation anxiety disorder either during periods of separation from their children or in anticipation of upcoming separation. The signs and symptoms include:
- Extreme worrying
- Unusual emotional distress
- Fear of harm befalling a child
- Need to keep tabs on a child’s location at all times
- Negative thoughts
- Heightened restlessness
- Panic episodes
- Severe sadness about being alone
- Over-protectiveness
- Nightmares
- Physical symptoms (nausea, headache, irritability)
- Social withdrawal
- Reluctance in allowing age-appropriate independence
Is Anxiety Because of Separation From Your Baby Normal?
It is fairly common and normal to feel anxious when separated from your baby, whether it is to nap in a different place or be away for a brief period. The bond between a mother and her infant is exceptionally strong during the initial stages when the baby is entirely dependent on the mother for care. So, the mere thought of separation, even for a short break, can trigger anxiety, with numerous thoughts and emotions flooding your mind, all centered around your baby’s well-being. This is a natural response during this time.
However, as your baby grows, they naturally become more independent and require personal space, especially in adolescence. Feeling some anxiety during this transition is a normal part of parenthood, but if it significantly impacts your daily activities, consulting a mental health professional or a counselor is recommended. In this case, you can receive assistance and guidance to ensure both you and your child navigate these phases of development in a healthy way.
How to Deal With Parental Separation Anxiety
If you suspect that you may be experiencing parental separation anxiety, remember that it can be effectively managed through various strategies. The first and foremost step is acknowledging and accepting that seeking help is not a sign of weakness or inadequate parenting. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are a natural part of being a parent. Then, consider seeking professional help and pay attention to the following approaches:
- Support system: Surround yourself with family, friends, and fellow parents who uplift and support you through the journey of parenting. Sharing experiences with fellow parents will help you understand that you are not alone in your concerns, and reassurance can help you deal with the challenges of parenting.
- Mindfulness techniques: Relaxation and mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, yoga, and muscle relaxation induce a sense of calm helping you manage your anxiety.
- Therapy: Various psychotherapy methods help in managing anxiety by addressing its underlying causes. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), one of the most common psychotherapies, can help parents modulate their thought patterns, making them feel more confident and relaxed about allowing their children some time away. Another approach utilized to address parental separation anxiety is exposure therapy. During this process, the therapist develops a strategy to gradually expose parents to short periods of separation, progressively increasing the duration. This step-by-step exposure desensitizes parents to anxiety over time, cultivating comfort with the idea of separation.
- Medication: There are no specific medications tailored exclusively for adult separation anxiety. Instead, medications commonly used to address general anxiety may be prescribed if deemed necessary. It’s crucial to always consult with a healthcare specialist before starting pharmacological treatment.
In Conclusion
Parental separation anxiety is quite common, and there is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. The important thing is to recognize excessive anxiety and consult a specialist to manage these challenging feelings; this is crucial for the well-being of both parents and the child. Having separation anxiety doesn’t make you a bad parent; acknowledge that you are doing a good job and seek help if your worries feel overwhelming!
