When it comes to ending the marriage, you never know when a just bad divorce can turn into a nasty and hideous process. All of a sudden, you’re standing in the court hurling thunderbolts and ready to kill each other over some plastic salad bowl you both might not even need. The damaged nervous system, a bunch of unnecessary stuff, and an eternity of hatred as a result.
But what if we say that your allegedly nasty divorce can be made a little bit more civilized?
5 Things to Do to Prepare for a Divorce
There’s no such thing as an easy divorce. However, with appropriate preparation, it can become a little less stressful and barbaric. Here are 5 things you should take care of before you go to the trial:
Consider a More Peaceful Divorce Development
The best nasty divorce tactics is to avoid going the hard way in the first place. Plead to all the good you’ve had in your marital life and try to develop an easier and more peaceful divorce outcome. You may be even skilled enough to talk your spouse into a cheap uncontested divorce in Texas. This way you’ll avoid skyrocketing expenses and intense litigations in the court.
Find a Good Lawyer before It Gets Hot
Mend your sails while the weather is fine. There won’t be any time, nor energy, to seek a good lawyer when things start falling apart. Therefore, consider different options before it gets to the court. Perhaps, you both decide to minimize the costs and try mediation or a divorce therapist. They can help you to quench passions and settle your conflicts as mature people.
Mind What your Post on SM
As much as social media can be a gift for those who need help, they ruin lives and can worsen your divorce. Among those who break up, it’s common to speak ill of their exes on social media. Don’t! Even if it’s not used against you in the court, it can damage your reputation and set your spouse and kids against you.
Take Care of Your Kids
If you’re going through a difficult divorce, be sure your kids suffer no less. As parents, you both must bury the hatchet of war and have an open family conversation with your children in a peaceful environment. Don’t make scenes or discuss the details of your divorce in front of them. The goal is to prepare them for the upcoming changes. But also, to let them know that their parents still love them and both will take an active part in their lives.
Gather a Support Team
There’s no way you can go through a nasty divorce all alone. Make sure you have people who can support you and give you a hand when you need it the most. If there are friends ready to step in for you, don’t push them away. Be sure, you’ll need them a lot when you realize that your former life and marriage can’t be restored.
What Should You Do After a Nasty Divorce?
A post-divorce period is the time of grief and tears, insecurity and disbelief, as well as many broken lives. Some people never recover after divorce. Here are 5 tips on how to avoid ruining your happiness after you said quits:
Take Your Emotions Under Control
Easier said than done, but you can’t suffer forever over a broken marriage. There’s time for grief and there’s time for rebuilding your life. Let yourself mourn and complain for a moment, a week, or a month. But then put yourself together and do what should be done.
Immediately Start Planning Your Post-Divorce Lifestyle
Realizing that there’s no way back to your former marital life is a crucial step in getting better after divorce. Once you’re done with all the mourning and self-pitying, take some time to make up a plan of how you want your future life to develop. Perhaps, it’s time to find a better job or at least any job to earn your living? Maybe it’s time to move out from this criminal neighborhood and get a better place to stay? Or maybe you want more serious changes like moving abroad or becoming a nomad for a while? Having a plan will help you realize what you want from life and avoid losing yourself in after-divorce pain.
Avoid Stalking Your Ex Online and Offline
Especially if you weren’t the initiator, you may get tempted to check how your ex is doing on social media or by “accidentally” meeting them in a café or at the gym. Whatever you find out or see, it won’t be of any benefit for your progress and well-being. Rather, channel your thoughts on what you want from life or perhaps, even on a new relationship.
Take an Important Part in Your Children’s Lives
Whether you’re just a visiting or a full-custody parent, your kids deserve to know and interact with their mom or dad. Even if you’re on fighting terms with your ex-spouse, try to take an active part in your children’s lives. Spend time with them, learn about their dreams and aspirations, stay informed about their educational and athletic goals. This can therapeutic both for them and for you.
Follow Your Dreams
Marriage is always more about compromise than free dreaming and acting. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have dreams. Rather, that your dreams must always include family interests. If there’s any beauty in divorce, it’s that you can finally spread your wings and fly as high as you want.
Getting a new hobby, a juicy shape, a job of your dream – whatever. When you’re single again, it’s all in your scope of abilities. Divorce is a great time to start a new life. And chasing your dreams is the best favor you can give yourself.
